Sunday, July 29, 2012

B+Legend BBQ

 I over slept my alarm by 45mins so I had to rush getting ready. Ai did not tell me anything about where we are going, what to bring etc. So I just randomly packed a change of clothes, and a bathing suit even though I didn`t know if I am going to need it or not.

I rushed to Shinjuku and made it only 15mins late. Didn't really matter though because by the time we left was past 1 when the original time was 11am. When I arrived at Nodens I kinda sat around talking with everyone. It was a bit awkward since none of the people I'm close to are around like Sora, Minoru and Yuuki. Then there was Hana who is a bit scary and then... in pops in Miho. I almost got a bit hopeful when I didn't see her name in the staff section. But then I found her name on the customer section and was like hahaha who was I kidding?

She came in looking like a hot mess in jeans and a black tank with her hair all messed up. Ai told her it looked dasai so she tried to change into something else. I think it was some sort of  lolita looking thing. (like the punk lolita cosplay -ish looking stuff) Everyone was asked why did she change and she whined  back that Ai said what she was wearing looked dasai. But of course that kind of clothing is not quite right either so she went out to go buy something. She came back with a mars knock off black one piece with some white accents that looked kinda like night wear and asked for his opinion. He said ahh its good kinda hastily before going to get some sake.I talked to some of the other people for a little while and got to know some of them. While Miho tried to put her hair in a dango but failed and just left her hair semi straight.

Ai of course took forever to get the sake. Everyone was getting annoyed but saw it coming. Miho was telling Yamapi to call him. He called once and he didnt pick up. She told him hes a wanderer so you have to be persistent in calling or he will never pick up. We were all agreeing that he just never is on time for anything and never picks up the phone. He finally arrived at around 1ish and we all set off for kanagawa.

A friend of Masan's, DJ Zan also joind our car because Masan's car couldn't fit everyone else comfortably since Hana, Maria and Tsubasa are kinda on the larger side + alot of the food and stuff was in their car too. I talked to him most of the way.

Miho complained that she was getting a bit car sick so we stopped at a rest stop for a little while. It was a bit open parking lot and stuff. It really looked like one of those rest stops between Vancouver and Seattle. This part of Japan really reminded me of the west. Very  wide and open. Living in central Tokyo all this time I don't really get to see this part of Japan very often even though most of Japan just outside the main cities are just like this.

When we got back into the car, Miho asked if we needed bathing suits because there was some water guns in the trunk. Ai said he thinks so and Miho was like WHAT? Why didn't you tell me?!?! Kirby also felt the same. I wasn't told anything either but I knew we would be near water and knowing Ai he loves games and competition so I wouldn't be surprised if I got wet . Thus I packed a bathing suit just in case. Unfortunately I didn't know for sure if it was necessary or not so I didnt pack a bra since I was wearing my bikini top as a bra. Anyways, because of this we had to make another stop on our way there to pick up some swimwear. I couldn't find my bra size so I decided to leave it.

When we were getting close to the camp site (you see, he said resort but it was really a camp site)  There was a big pretty bridge and it looks like that we are in the middle of a mountain range in a little valley where a river runs through. The way the trees look etc, looks like stanley park. We set up in these little hut looking things with tatami mats inside. To my shock there was no bedding or plugs or shower. He didn't tell me it was a camp site! ==;; Luckily it was too hot for bedding anyway because there's of course no AC. I'm glad I wore flipflops instead of just comfy heels... because I was seriously thinking it would be like Dancegroove's trip.

Concerned about changing, Miho asked the boys to leave while changing. Ai thought it would be best to separate girls and boys but Masan said No. (because his gf is with him lol) I also didn't want that because I'd be stuck with Miho without Ai or anyone else I can talk to other than Maria who is likely going to be spending most of her time with Masan. This is because Kirby doesn't really talk, Hana is a bit intimidating, and I don't like Miho. But it seems that the cabins will be split by car group. So Masan, Maria, Hana, and Tsubasa in one and Ai,  Yamapi, Kirby, Zan, and Miho in the one I'm staying in.

We set up the BBQ after getting changed into our bathing suits. My shoe broke along the way so I had to go get flipflops with everyone else. They ran out of women`s so I had to wear men's. It felt awkward but whatever. The food was delicious and Maria was soo nice to me. I kept calling her cute and everything. I really like Maria she's one of the people who was always really nice to me. I find in Ai's bar people,  there's half of them that I really get along with and half that I only somewhat mutually are ok with.

After we ate, we started to play. Ai and Miho were playing with water guns and getting everyone kinda wet in the cross-fire. I was a litte envious of thier closeness but at the same time I really want to get wet buttt... that wasn`t going to happen because a little while later he started firing at me. It wasn`t fair because I don`t have a gun lol so I lead him to the river where he lost his flipflop. I caught it before it ran down the river but refused to give it back to him. As he reached over to grab it, I grabed his arm and pulled him down to splash alot of water up to his face. I got him soaked but I had to pay for it big time because he of course wouldn`t leave it at that and got me soaked as well.

Just a bit later, a person brought out a Leek. (the giant onion shoot that you make miso soup out of and the one that a particular pokemon I forgot the name of always carries) Kirby kept dipping it in water and smacking Yamapi with it. Ai said she was doing it too softly. I tried too but Ai said that too is too soft. I then diped it again in water and smacked him with it. He gave me a look of surprise. Everyone took turns with it and a little after the Leek smacking game subsided, Ai leaned over to say something then hit me VERY hard on across the butt with it, ran off laughing and did a vicotory dance. All I could think of was how silly  he looked and ow....I later got my revenge by slapping him REALLY hard across his butt with my hand. He gave a wince of pain, then smiled and said that`s more like it, your b-gata-ness is coming out.

The family next to us was really kind and gave us some gaint prawns to cook. Zan came over to feed it to me and Maria said whoa whoa whoa too erotic lol. Maria and I talked a little bit over some food and I found out shes a mediator for married couples. No wonder she is so nice. Masan took out the badminton rackets and everyone just either sat and talked or played around in the river. Ai and I had it out again in the river with Maria and Masan. I took an empty bottle and filled it with water and dumped it all over Ai`s back. I almost emptied it all but he tore it away from me and tried to get me back. I ran too fast so he barely got the rest on me. But I stepped on a rock wrong and it really hurt. His game face switched off and asked if I was ok in a really sweet concerned tone and told me to be careful.

Everyone has been consitantly drinking through-out the bbq but when it started to get a bit darker Ai brought out the nihon-shu and kept picking on Hana who was not even remotely in the mood to drink. The drinks got passed around and everyone was drinking alot. I'm normally really bad with bubbles but maybe this time I was ok because I was already on my 3rd smirnoff and still not drunk.

I can never tell when Ai is drunk or not because it doesn't show on his face but he must have been because his guard seemed to be slowly wearing down as the evening progressed. I don't know where Miho went, but I think she went back to the cabin to clean her eye from some stuff that got in it. Ai, Hana, Zan, Maria and a bunch of others and I were all drinking in a circle. Suddenly Ai taped me on the head. Automatically,  I looked up and I was met with a kiss followed by a rush of sake into my mouth from his. He did this 2x. Everyone was shocked but cheering it on.

Zan started to die and so did I. The sake hit me kind of suddenly. Wierd, I normally have it hit me gradually but this time it didn't show up at all for awhile. I was trying my best to last til hanabi but I started to feel not soo good. Yamapi was already there because he was taking care of Kirby who was already out. I had only expected Ai just to take me back and return to the group but he stayed with me. He let me lay my head on his lap and kept me close as he talked to Yamapi. A knock on the door came shortly after with a bunch of people carrying Zan into the room. They left almost as quickly as the came so the room was just Yamapi with Kirby on his lap, Zan dead in the middle and Ai with me on his lap. Ai started to explain to Yamapi about being a man and trying to demonstrate things using me as a practice dummy. I was too drunk out of my mind to fully  understand what was going on but Ai stuck his hand into my binki top and groped me 0_0. (ok he must be drunk because wtf) he did this a few times. (normally I'd slap someone before can get near but Ai used to be my bf so I didn't know what to do) He then moved his hand lower and thats where I grabbed it and pulled it away from me. Seriously I don't mind but not in front of people.

A little later Miho came to the door and Ai had to talk to her. (I'm not sure when but very drunk I accidently slipped out that Ai had kissed me so I think she was upset.) I couldn't make out the words at all and then I knocked out for a bit. I awoke a little later and stood outside the cabin for some fresh air. Just at that moment Ai was coming up the hill. He asked if I was ok and told me he wanted to talk to me. He had me wait for him outside the washroom and then took me to the car. We sat down. My head was spinning. I don't even remember exactly what he was saying because I didn't understand most of it. Ai was fondly moving his fingers across my hand as we talked. He explained to me that at work, he has an image he has been putting up which is that he is a  workaholic and is unobtainable.  People don't know about our past and he would prefer to keep our realtion in private because it could get hard for bussiness if it gets mixed up in it and we might not be able to see eachother from it. I said sorry and told him I don't really know what's wrong with me. In all my life I have never been jealous or insecure before I met him. The confusion he puts me through led me to talk almost as if I was trying to convince and prove to myself that what I'm thinking isn't in my head and he really does actually like me. Which also led to a question that has been in my mind since the last time we met. Does he like me for me or does he like me for what I can become? I was really dizzy and tierd and so not even in english could I put my words correctly. He didn't give me a clear answer but I think I wasn`t able to properly word my question at all. He said the emoitions and feelings are there or something like that. He was also concerned about how I was doing. I said my head is still spinning and I don't know why. I normally am not this weak to alchol but I have been getting progressively weaker and weaker. He told me we don't have much time here so he wants to discuss my future on the 15th. He also had mentioned something about me being sad or lonely is something he doesn`t want and that it hurts him too to see me like that. He said this with a sad face and a waver in his voice. This made me nervous. I hope that he doesn`t do something stupid for my sake like he did last summer. But we won`t know till the 15th.He started to get nervous of people walking pass the car so we went to the back. The rain started to patter on the windshield as we kissed and embraced eachother for a little while before his fear of being found out got too much and told me to head back first and he will follow a little later.

I returned back to the cabin and everyone was wondering where I went and where Ai was. I said I wasn't feeling well so I went outside to throw up (lies) and that I don't know where Ai is, I didn't see him. We all chilled for a little while and Ai returned a little later. I found that my wallet had pen ink spilled all over it so I was busy trying to get it off while eba-chan was being crazy and loud. Not long after the rain stopped and everyone went back outside to play with fireworks. We started a little bit of a camp fire with random stuff. As expected Ai threw a bunch of fireworks into the fire so that it would all go off at once and nothing happend haha. I was a bit smarter with it and lit what he threw it and then it worked. After the fireworks were finished, Ebachan, Zan, Tsubasa, Kirby and I were left just chilling out. They were playing some sort of strip game with rock paper sissors. I refused to participate. Eba-chan said why not its funnnnn! I said there`s nothing in it for me. He said but the boys strip too if they loose you know! Yea but it`s not like I really want to see you strip LOL. Ebachan teased and said what if it was Ai? I laughed but held me tongue on the reason because of what Ai said about telling other people about us. (What I was going to say was why would I need to see that in a game when I`ve seen it many times before while we were dating? Besides, I never really cared about naked men. I find a man with long skinny legs wearing tight jeans far more sexy than a naked one LOL) Ebachan mistakend the laughter as dirty thoughts and I went further to explain I prefer men fully clothed. Kirby kept loosing but I stopped the game before she actually had to strip. I told them that if she doesn`t want to, don`t force her. Eba-chan said omg scary why are your eyes suddenlly so cold... wait? what? is it.. that you have no makeup on?!?! I was like um.. yea... Its been like that for awhile and you just noticed now? LOOLLLL but yea my eyes have always been cold, they just look warmer with contact lenses. We talked for a while more but kinda of started to realise that other people of the group were not coming back so we all headed back up to the cabin. They were all inside eating cabbage lol wtf. How come they didn`t tell us.

We chiled in the cabin for a little while more and then we all headed back out again to try to break the watermelon but then decided it was too dark for this so we just chilled around and talked. Ai disppeared at one point and so did Miho. The rest of us soon headed back too. I found myself outside with Yamapi taking about some random stuff and then he went to the washroom. I decided to have a look at the car area and to my suspicion Ai and Miho were there. Of course I didnt go past the car to see because she came out the car around the time I got there. I ran to the washroom and watched her walk pass through the crack of the door. A little while later I came out of the washroom and met back up with Yamapi to go to the cabin. We all went to bed and Ai never came back so I suspected he is sleeping in the car since his bag is also gone too. I wonder what he and Miho were doing... a few things came across my mind. Since earlier in the evening Miho had expained that Ai is incapable of having dirty thoughts and is broken in that department it led me to believe that maybe she is also shown only that side of him, but you never know with people, she could be just lying to keep it up for him as well. I knew he had to calm her down after she found out about the kiss so maybe it was a talk about that. It could also be a talk about a mail she wanted to discuss with him that she was showing earlier this evening. The 2nd possible thing they could be doing is that he might have done some stuff with her just to shut her up  or the 3rd which is the worst, is that he might be playing both of us at the same time... Ahh why am I so jealous???  I hope it was just a talk.

The next morning I awoke relatively early... I couldn`t sleep anymore so I took the shampoo and washed my bangs in the sink. With no hairdryer or iron I didnt really know what to do with my hair so I just carefully moved it from side to side and lied it out so it would remain flat and in the right shape. I was frustrated with how much of a wreck my hair was in but I thought I`d at least fix my face by putting on my makeup. A few hours later everyone woke up and went down to the river for the watermelon. To Miho`s disappointment they cut it instead and she was not intersted in eating it since she wasn`t feeling well. Yampi said that he liked my face without makeup more than with. I said aww thx but its too bad but, thats not my real face its just my sleeping face. Masan laughed and smirked affirming he that his is all too famliar with this way of thinking. After eating the watermelon we all packed up and set off to leave. Ai and I didn`t really talk for the whole morning. There was a bit of a nervous tension between us for some reason so I called up Ash and talked about the events that happend over the weekend.

Half way on our drive we stopped by another rest stop and were told we have 20mins and to meet back at the 40. I ran into Ai at the foodcourt and and said something stupid like looking at food? He said yea. I didn`t want to bug him so I kept walking. I don`t think he is mad at me but we were just nervous around eachother for some reason. I bought my food and ate alone. When it was time I went back downstairs to buy a drink from the vending machine and he was there too. He saw me and we both said oh hey, bought our drinks and went back. I told him I`m sorry for yesterday before Yampi arrived. He told me oh don`t worry about in a it`s ok in a I`m fine now kind of tone. Miho and Kirby were taking longer and while we waited Yamapi and Ai bought some hotdogs and other fried things. While eating Ai accidently almost knocks his food out off of the table and i caught it with my phone and arm getting sauce on me and my phone. He looked at me with great nervousness like as if he were a highschool boy who just threw up on his crush. There was a pause of silence before we warmed up and laughed about how silly we have been this morning as he handed me a tissue to wipe off the sauce. We smiled at eachother in relief.

He said ahh I don`t like summer as he gazed out at the sun. He then turns to me and says you don`t like summer too right? If I recall you like winter the most like me. I said yea, winter is my favorite season because it`s the most romantic. Oh?? Yea,There`s christmas, newyears, valentines day, white day and of course, Ai`s birthday is also in the winter. He said ooohh yea with a warm smile on his face. If I was born 3 days earlier I`d be winter too but I just made it into spring. He said yea, that is correct. We looked out the window again smiling.

With the tension lifted, the rest of the way home felt like things were back to normal. When he returned the car to the rental place we started to head back to shinjuku. At first it was Ai and I beside eachother then for a little while Miho cut in somehow. However, soon enough it was just us agian. I looked behind me and Miho had her head down a bit in kind of frustration. I continued casual conversation as usual. When we hit a red light and Miho caught up, she said that Ai has no regard for girls walking pace. Our bags are heavier and our shoes are harder to walk in. (though my bag was definately heavier than hers and I was going to say somethin until I realized that im wearing flipflops at the moment. However, even with heels I can still keep up with Ai`s pace so I still dont think its an excuse) Ai said ooh- sorry? Miho got slightly offended and called him out on his lack of care but was tierd and gave up. This is where Ai decides it would be better to use a taxi. He sent us all off in the taxi while he walked his way back. I got off around Donki and said goodbye to everyone so I could head home because I was exhuasted and embarassed of my hair and shoes. (Besides, knowing Ai, by the time he reaches the Bar would be evening haha. He never does anything within a timely basis.)

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Men`s Knuckle Night at ATOM

I was supposed to go to Men`s Knuckle Night with Dania but she fell sick from the night before and couldn`t make it so I went with Ash, Mayumi and Emily instead. We started out the night with purikura and then we headed off to Atom.

We got there at the right time too. They were just ending the little fashion show and were giving out prizes. I caught one of the balls that they threw out so I got to take a picture with them. I guess this means I`ll be in the next issue of Men`s Knuckle. XD I also got a free buffalo bobs t-shirt.

It`s been a long time since I went to Atom. The great thing about Atom is that you never have to worry about not getting enough drinks. Ash, Mayumi and Emily and I went down to the hiphop floor first so that we can start drinking. Dancing the night away, we met 2 very cute gyaru who were faning us as we danced. They were soooooooo cute. Soon enough, the drinks started coming and we were getting the party started.

I wandered off the hiphop floor for a little while. I could only take it for so long. I ran into an old nampa Naoto. I found out that he`s actually way into his 30s. It came to me as a shock as I always thought he was 25. I found myself chilling on the house/electro floor the most. I started to get very drunk but not particuarly the good kind. The kind where my head started to hurt. I thought I might go home soon. Ash and Mayumi found me after awhile. Ash said I thought you'd be up here. I responded with, you know I always am. I tried to keep dancing but around 3ish I decided to go home because I also still had school the next day. It was very fun and I'm glad I came out. Its been a long time since I just chilled like that.

Sunday, July 22, 2012


OMG you do not know how hard I fought for this day. Originally we were supposed to see eachother on the 25th of last month but he fell sick. Then we were supposed to meet on the 15th but he got drunk. Then we were supposed to meet on the 21st but he mistook my free time to be in the evening not during the day so it became today.

I literally told him I will KILL him if he cancels on me today. He arranged for a bit after 6 and it it was about 7:20 When i finally got to see him. But unlike before, he told me in advance that it will be later so I only had to really wait 30mins instead of the whole 1.5hrs

I got to the Alta at 6:50 and looked at some shops then went outside to wait. It started to rain a little so I crouched in the corner under an overhang and colored my picture while I waited for him. He finally arrived and took me to Bees. The place was really pretty.

I told him how angry I was at him and he apologized. He said I`m really sorry its not like I was purposely bullying you I really didn`t mean to. Lately he just has no time at all. He`s still trying though. As we walked down the stairs to our seat he told me how much he liked my dress and nearly tripped when I told him I made it when I was in highschool with btsb sewing pattern in which was all in Japanese. (aka I couldnt read it)

When we sat down we talked about the future and our feelings towards eachother over dinner. He told I`m his rival. Why? because he likes the challenge and when you are trying to always outbeat eachtother, the other person is your best match. So you win both ways, both in becoming better yourself and getting the best person. I told him that he`s not my rival and that Ash is. I like having a female as a rival because we both female so we do the same things. He kinda understood my point as much as I understood his. He told me that just like me he wants a girl who can beat him. I told him the catch there is I want a guy who is better than me so if I beat him I may not want him anymore LOL. He said well, you don`t have to better at everything lol.

He went on to say that he thinks his work will calm down within time because hes giving himself til 30 and he wants to marry before 30 too. And the girl he will choose is the girl who is his rival so he don`t want me to loose out to him. He wants me to fight him to the bitter end. I was like ==;;; you`re weird. But even though I don`t care for competition I`ll take his challege anyway solely on the fact I`ve ALWAYS strive to be the best I can be. He also said its a challege for him as well because its a race between him being able to achieve his work goals and have it calm down or me finding a better guy than him. Which one will be first? He said he ultimately wants my happiness so if I do find a better guy he wishes me the best but at the same time he don`t wanna loose either.

I told him my plan of action so far. Right now, I`m studying Japanese and I want  to go to fashion school to become a stylist. Once I get that I will work as a stylist and gain connections and then when its good enough of a network I will try to do my own fashion designing. He approves of this because he really thinks I`d make a really good designer after looking at my drawings. But the catch here is money. I`m going to be looking into student loans but I haven`t found anything yet. I told him that if I can`t find it, I`ll have to go back to vancouver for the schooling. He made a face like don`t you dare go back but said `buuuutt you dont want to go back of course right? I said yes.

On this rivalry topic, I asked him straight is there any other girl rivals that he has and he told me quite frankly none so I dont have to worry about that. (I know his telling me the truth because he would only want me to try harder if there was one) LOL probably no one is crazy enough to do all the shit I do. Through our talk we both realized more and more how similar we are.

Out of curiosity and change for a lighter topic, I asked him about his childhood and teenhood. I was curious as to what kind of person was he during his early years and his relations with his family. To this day, I really only have known Ai as he is now. Basically he has always been social and though he had times where he was picked on, his sempais always protected him. He also was very sporty, had short hair and played soccer. As for his family, he hasn`t seen them in 7years and He doesn`t even know where they are now. He thinks when he gets better he will go search for them one day. We also got on the topîc of my past as well. I told him that I was a selfish loner who thought all I needed was my sketch book and my mom. Didn`t need anyone else. But I was picked on time and time again. I put up with it thinking they will go away if I just toughed it out but even if they went away a new set would come. It got so bad in highschool where when I was in the special class for the elite, I got completely isolated and even people who liked me more than my bully said that they had to pretend they are not my friend when she is around because they are scared of her. But eventually I got sick of all this crap and used the information that I gathered from watching people all this time to create what I thought was the best woman. I changed my whole appearance and personality. Everything I am now is self-made. He enjoyed my story quite alot

Our next topic was about his company trip. He invited me out to an overnight bbq trip with his company. I asked him do you want me to go? He said well I think it will be fun and since I don`t have alot of time, it would be a good opportunity to spend some time together. (aka yes he wants me to come) I talked things over and shifted my schedule around to fit it so I guess I will be going on an overnight trip next weekend.

The phone calls from his work got really noisy after awhile so we left Bees and took some purikura. Afterward we walked towards kabukicho. I was wondering whats going on because it seemed to me that we would be finished after dinner but he said he found a way to extend our time more. (for once he is delaying time for ME XDD )

Our next place we went is somewhere you would never think a guy would take a girl on a date... He took me to a host club LMAO! He took me to the new place that his old club moved to. He had some business with Nobutora. So he brought me there with him and we drank together. One guy who was on help when Nobutora was busy said how strong would you like your sake? Not so strong right? You look like the type who don`t drink that much. Ai quickly corrected him and said Noooo don`t let her looks fool you she can drink alot.

Ai eventually ran out of buffer time and had to go. He set up another date next month on the 15th and said goodbye after saying I could stay longer and that he already paid for everything. He said you haven`t seen nobutora for awhile so you can talk with him. Nobutora and I exchanged glances like wtf? Ai left and we just talked for awhile. The club started to get busy and Nobutora told me you know I don`t really know what he was thinking lol. He mimicked what ai said and then at the end of his impression he said the way he said stuff was like as if it were an omiai. (arranged marriage meeting) He suggested that after we finished our drinks that I should head home because he could tell that I was just as confused as he was and the club is started to get busy thus the staff will be on shortage. Besides, I came to kabuikicho to see Ai not him anyway. LOL This is true. He sent me off and I started to head home. Of course as usual I was stopped by some persistent hosts. One of them told me Im SOOO his type and blah blah blah. And that my seikei was beautiful. (plastic surgery) I was like umm. WHUT? He said yeah your seikei is beautiful. Where did you get your nose done? I was like I dont know what you are on but I never had plastic surgery. LOL He said WHAT really? but your face looks like it had plastic surgery. You mean you naturally look like that?? Thx...? I guess?? Anyway he said can I have your number? lets go to karaoke together. I said welll... byebye XD

I had such a fun date with Ai. Its been awhile since we both had such a happy smile on our faces. I really felt affection in his voice today. But of course its going to be a very long hard road from here on but I accept your challenge Ai!

Monday, July 16, 2012

Goth Gene: Happy B-day Rin-chan!

I had wanted to hang out wiht Yanise earlier in lolita but never got the chance so I met up with her a little before the goth gene even and took purikura. Ash was also on the way too so we decided  to kill sometime before headed to the club. I took her to my favorite used shop in kabukicho and she talked with the dolly looking boy a little bit. After that we bought some drinks and sat outside the club waiting for ash. Some chinese guys hit on us but I was not interested. They wanted to take us to roppongi. LOL no way am I going to roppongi. Around that time I got a mail from sora and I decided to call her up to see what she was up to. When I called her she didn`t sound that well. I asked her what was wrong and she explained to me that Ai was drunk and they had a big blow out. I wanted to know more about it but she wouldn`t tell me.

Ash arrived and we headed into the club. I saw Rin-chan instantly and gave my greetings. I asked her where Relia was and she led me to the other room where she was Dj-ing. When Rin-chan left the room, I got her to sign the large card I drew for her. I spend most of my time busy getting everyone to sign the card in secret. I also ran into an old friend of mine, Serika! She`s now became a egg model. I always knew she was cute enough to be a model!

The night was more dead that normal but I still had lots of fun. Serika invited us over to VIP and we just talked a bunch and caught up. A little while later a preformance was put on by the 2 pink haired boys and it was about Acid Black Cherry. It was very entertaining. Juno also came to greet us and hanged about a bit.

Late in the night Hakushaku arrived. I grabbed him by the wrist to the other room saying I need you for something. He gave a look of oooOooo what`s this but was oh --;; that, haha what was I thinking when I asked him to sign the card. Ash said it was funny, none of the other guys thought it was something like that but Hakushaku being the narrcist he is did. Soon after I gave the card to Rin-chan and she was estatic about it. She ran around showing it to everyone proudly. I`m so glad she liked it.

Soon after Hakusaku`s arrival, another host-y looking boy came in wearing a salaryman suit. It was really strange looking. My head was starting to hurt from the drinks we bought at the konbini earlier and Ash also kind of wanted to leave. Right about the time we were about to leave Rion came in. I greeted him before leaving. On our way out the host-y salaryman suit wearing boy was outside. He greeted me as Hakushaku`s girl and asked me if I remembered him. It dawned on me that I have met him before. He was the guy who looked like the korean prince when Hakushaku took me to the bar after our dinner. He had dyed his hair so I didn`t recognize him. Though... Hakushaku`s girl? We only went on one long date. I kinda started to like him but in the end it just fizzled out. I thought maybe because it was just one awesome date then nothing that he did this alot as a sick hobby but I guess appearently not? Either way, it didn`t work out.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Tokyo Decadance June bride + Ai

I was supposed to meet. with someone at 10 in shibuya before heading to Tokyo Decadance but It was canceled last minute. So I decided to head to shinjuku early so maybe I can take purikura with Mayumi.

Mayumi was drinking in 2-chome with her friends and she invited me to join them. I haven't eaten yet so I said I'll eat first then join them. By the time I was finished eating it was almost 11. I sat down at a bus stop in front of sports land as I was pretty tired from walking around in a formal gown. I decided I'll just wait for them to come to me rather than me to them so we can take purikura before the place closes. Mayumi arrived around 11:40 and we took purikura in the new machine that features kary pomyu pomyu. Mayumi was already pretty drunk and she was saying some of the funniest things. Hitomi joined us later and we took a set with her as well.
We arrived at decadance  around 12:30 and Mayumi's friend who was wearing a suit didn't impress the costume inspector who asked for appeal!! (because when the inspector asked what was he wearing he said chotto suits.. and more than anything he was not happy with the chotto part) give me an appeal! look, dress, dress, dress... and ??? He didn't feel like appealing to him so he just went up with the rest of us and paid for the extra 500yen. At the door Selia said to  me `Alice right? 2000yen` I was confused and then realized oh right, Rin-chan`s nickname is Alice. He looked more carefully at me and then realized he was mistaken-ed but he said he was completely dumbfounded by how much I resembled her the staff next to him felt the same. when we got into main room I lost sight of my group so I went to look for them. The first person I saw was Adyee! He looked soo cute so we took a picture together. Then I headed back into the main room to look for Mayumi again.(Here's a bit of a time capsule shot, this dress is actually my highschool prom dress haha *next to me is Adyee of course)

Like before, decadance feels like an enchanted ball. Saw many familiar faces and actually I met Naoki there too!! He was there with his girlfriend. I asked Mayumi to take a picture but it seemed like neither of them got along. It was loud and they couldn't hear eachother so it ended in kinda of an awkward silent "nevermind". The wedding started shortly after. I was under the impression via a friend of ours who works for decadance, that it was Mimi and Adrien's wedding. I always thought it was strange because I thought they were already married. Well it wasn't actually their wedding, it was a double wedding. One pair dressed in all white and the other pair dressed in all black. Selia sang the wedding songs and a french old dude who weded them spoke out the vows? in Japanese. His accent was so thick Mayumi got pissed and said OMG I swear he's doing on purpose. That accent can't be fucking serious.

After the wedding I was approached by Sayaka, a girl I met last time. She had changed her hair color so it was kinda of hard to recognize her at first. A little while after our macho friend dragged me over to see the M pet guy where a bunch of girls where stepping and kicking him and holding a leash and riding on him. I was asked to do the same but I'm not S enough to do that so I ended up talking to a vkei-ish guy who reminded me of flatter faced SuG takeru. His aura just screamed out charai. Somehow all the host-y and kyaba-y looking people ended up together sitting around and chatting til Adrien told us all to head back into the main room to enjoy DJ Sisen`s work. Sayaka is a really big fan of DJ Sisen so we all headed back out. DJ Sisen was just chilling by the bar. He looked amazing. We took some photos with him. This wasn`t the first time I saw him but it was the first time I ever talked to him before. I really like his work too. His mixes sound soo good. Sayaka bought me a few drinks and we hanged out for awhile til I ran into Rin-nee-chan. She came with her husband. They look soo cute together. Apparently she also had her wedding at decadance last year. The dress she was wearing was her wedding dress from that day. We took some photos together. She mentioned that Selia told her that there is a girl he mistaken-ed as her and I laughed and said yeah that was me. She said she knew it was me because this happens all the time.

We danced the night away. Around 4ish I ran into Rin again. She took me to see Selia and said THIS is the girl you mistook as me right?? Hahah yea she is! She then said ahaha yea she`s my little sister! After that she took me by the elevators to meet DJ Sisen and talk a bit. She also introduced me to what she called her onii-chan. She introduced me as her little sister. He`s known her for years and was the bro that she ran to crying everytime an ikemen broke her heart. She told me that I look and act alot like her when she was my age. She told me she was worried about me because like her, she had a long history of what we call dame-otoko. She told me I know at age 23-26 you really want get married its best to wait til after 26 to do so because most are mistakes. She didn`t get married til she was 31. Well, she don`t know if its a mistake or not yet but so far so good. Her summary of goodlooking men in Japan, are either charai, don`t want to settle down or don`t make any money. So her advice to me is to go for someone who is not so good-looking but fashionable or something different so that it still suits me taste. We then talked about lighter things like her birthday party coming up this month. I told her I will definitely be going. (in fact the other day I bought a pack of pencil crayons so I can draw her a picture for a big bday card)

Close to 5am I headed over to Aria. I appeared at the door hoping that Ai would be there. I could hear his voice from the door so I was confident when you opened the door. He was a bit surprised by my dress but then collected his composure again and said Oh right you just came from Decadance. He sat me down and asked me what kind of drink did I want to drink. I said I wanted something sweet and he came back with something very tasty and a clear bottle with a yellow colored liquor in it. I thought it was made from the same thing so I was curious as to what it was. Ai caught me looking at it and he asked if I was curious about it. I said yeah, I never seen this before. He looked at me surprised poured me a shot and we both drank it. The first words out of my mouth was ack! Tequila! And he laughed. Then I read the bottle and it said tequila. Damn I felt stupid. He said yeah its tequila, how come you didn`t know? I said yeah but everytime I drank tequila it was at the club so I never really saw the bottle. He laughed at me. I brought out the bottle that Leijo gave me from Finland the other day and told him is a present from my friend and I wanted to try it with you. We poured a shot and it was a liqourish flavored. Very sweet.

So after that we started to talk. I told him how worried I was about him and how could he not tell me sooner that he was sick. Did you know fucking worried I was about you!?! He told me sorry and that he didn`t look at his phone at all. I told him he was a liar. Because I phoned SOOOO often that I knew exactly when his phone ran out of batteries, and then recharged.He gave me a funny look and then we continued on. I told him all the shit yosuke said and even showed him the mails and how crazy I`ve been feeling lately. He looked at yosuke`s messages kinda disgusted and said wtf he doesn`t even know me. He`s just a customer he comes from time to time.  He then had a tinge of jealousy in his voice when he saw that there was a mail from yuuki in my inbox too and asked how many of his staff that I have contact with. I told him who but only yosuke was saying bad stuff. I told him that Minoru helped me out by clearing things up.

Now the alcohol was setting in-- I confronted Ai about how is he going to make up for missing our date. I mean, yeah of course I forgive him because he was sick but that doesn`t mean he can just stop there and not make it up. Of course I got mad when he would give me a direct answer at first. I told him if you really cared about me you would reschedule. If you really cared about me you could at least give me once a month. It`s not that hard. I`m busy you`re busy and its OK. (I was crying and by this point, too many emotions that were bottled up over the past while) I want you tell me me straight do you even like me? What am I to you?

To my relief he answered very quickly without hesitation nor haste that he likes me. He said it firmly and boldly. He then answered that I am his rival. Of course I resented that and said I didn`t want to be his rival. He said no, you misunderstand. A rival to me is the woman I want to be with. If she is not my rival I don`t want to be with her. (twisted but its nothing new)

We did end up tentatively deciding on the 15th. (Partially because I said if you can`t even do that for me then I`ll just say goodbye) He`s unsure about it but he will try because he is working on some sort of Computer SNS thing right now so he won`t even be in the bar that often (take that yosuke, so it couldn`t have been him thinking of me as a customer). He seems to be having a shit load of projects going on. So I suppose he isn`t kidding that he has no time. In fact, when I look at my schedule I barely have any time either.

He contradicts himself alot. How he literally put it is that he must become something before 30. He must be successful because if he isn`t he cannot protect anyone ( meaning his woman) Yet he want his woman to work hard on her dreams and be successful as well. He will have nothing but the best. He cannot have anything half assed. While he still likes me and regards me as the most important woman to him, he doesn`t want to be in an official relationship with me  (right not anyway) because he said you might be ok with once a month but It`s not good for me. That`s not a real relationship. It`s half-assed and I don`t want to do it that way. (not necessairly meaning we won`t see eachother but meaning he don`t want to claim the title of bf and gf at this state) I never really thought about it that way... the tone in his voice is that for him (like he mentioned before during our talk at his opening) was that even though I`m strong enough to be ok with once a month, being in a relationship for him and only getting to see his girl once a month makes it emotionally very difficult on him and might hinder his work. Also, in his mind there`s no guarantee that I can remain strong through-out it too. Ultimately, missing eachother too much might hurt us both in our goals.

So my decision after all this, is to do exactly what he is doing to me. I`m gonna keep him on the back burner while I work hard on my dreams too. (dammit, I think I lost here because I just ended back at what he wanted to begin with. That kind of urks me. but the war of the B-gata is far from over! I still won`t back down til I win what I`m after) So far my plan is to pass the N2 Japanese proficiency test and either enter alternative school or try to find a job that provides a visa. *sigh* I really didn`t want to become a career woman but it seems I can`t escape this path no matter how hard I try. It`s going to be a long hard road. There`s hardly any romance seen in the forecast but I can see some cool new friends waiting to be met just over the horizon.

Some random high-lights from the bar was that at some point when ai went off somewhere Yuuki came in drunk off his ass and was flopping everywhere til he finally passed out dead on the floor. He was soo drunk he sat on the table but toppled over and fell off the table fliping backwards on to me then fell to the floor and hit a chair on his way down (luckily they are soft chairs). There was another dude who was soo drunk he was in his underwear the entire time. He somehow flipped over a chair and hit me on the way down. He landed in front of me with his legs spred wide open and said something rude I can`t remember but since im in a chair I lightly stomped on his balls with my foot that was under the many many many ruffles of my dress and he said OW!!! HIME-SAMA STEPPED ON MY BALLS! He was soo retarded. Later when Ai came back we drank nihon-shu and later when we were cleaning up I asked him what to do with the tequila bottle. He told me to drink it. I looked at him like wtf. He asked me to hand it over and then like a brat I finished it right in front of him and gave him a snooty smirk. Yes, I was drunk. What did I do next? I just calmly voluntarily cleaned all the glasses. It helped me concentrate because I was kinda at a drunked-ness that it didn`t show up until later and it was getting steadily stronger. I normally get drunk then return, get drunk then return but the getting drunk part is normally pretty fast though so is the getting back part. But I find if I`m a little upset its nothing for a long time then it all hits at once... And of course just like how it is when its this pattern... when I came home I balled my eyes out of frustration and stress over the recent events. But the next day was the first day that my body wasn`t crazily sore.