Tuesday, June 26, 2012
It was my first time going from the opposite side of tokyo back to my side of tokyo on the last yamanote train so.. guess what? I took the wrong one. LMAO I ended up stranded in Shinagawa... orz..... Lucky for me a group of Filipino boys offered me a ride in a taxi to Roppongi with them. However with me in the mix it made our group from 4 to 5 and most taxis can only take four. But flipinos are resourceful so one talked to the driver and one quickly jumps in and crouches down while the next one piles in. The first driver caught note of it but I didn't. The driver said you can only have 4 people. They were saying Oh but we have only 4. See one, two, three, four. I thought that ain't gonna work there's 5.. wait there really is only 4. What happened to the other one?? did he jump in the trunk or something? But when the driver told us all to get out I realized the last one was hidden behind the 2nd guy. Wow they sure can fit in small places. 0_0
We did the same thing to the next taxi and was successful. They were soo funny. When the they stopped at the stop light, they were making fun of the taxi driver in the other lane and stuff. They were just comical. Hey mister you don't have a customer in your taxi, that's not good, you should find one quickly. etc.
When we arrived at roppongi, one of them gave me 1000yen and I rode to Shibuya. I stopped the taxi a little further out so I can have the metre stop at 1500yen and walked about 15mins to shibuya's hachiko to meet with Minoru who has been keeping me company through mails while I flounder in my worry. We walked around for awhile talking about both our problems. We eventually ended up at karaoke where we just sat and talked from 3am-5am. We talked about how we met our exs and why we ended up liking them and shared our memories of them together. Basically for him his girlfriend is very young and she is doing fuzoku and saying that its for his sake but its not. He tries to give her advice but she won't listen. He listens to her problems but she doesn't even have any regard for his feelings. She calls him a stalker and tells everyone they have already broken up before telling him. etc etc. The reason why he liked her and stayed with her is because no one ever seems to be into him and he thinks hes a dame-na-hito so someone being forward and saying that they like him is what got him. He's a very lonely person and really fears being alone.
As for my situation. I got some information from Minoru about Ai's character. In short Yosuke is a bullshitter. He's a liar and everything he said about Ai is false. As far as Minoru sees it, Ai isn't charai, Miho is strictly a customer etc. Minoru's description of Ai is exactly the same as mine. Someone who is a workaholic, pushes himself over the limit, stubborn, won't take advice, puts alot of pressure on you to pursue your dreams. While talking to Minoru I started to understand what Minoru meant about how he seems to have alot of qualities that are like Ai. He's like Ai mild. Like a less ambitious, and overly kind version of Ai. They even have similar hair sets and favorite colors and clothing choices and accessory choices only that their faces are completely different. They are even the same height.
After our talk we sang some karaoke and then talked some more about random stuff. About Ai, about his ex etc. He and I both agree that Ai's version of what he calls a worthy dream is too narrow and its not a bad thing to just want happiness with having friends and its not a bad thing to accept help from people sometimes. We also both agree that Ai don't want his weak side to show and will do everything to hide it. It makes me wonder if that's why he is avoiding picking up his phone. There has been many times where he told me he refuses to see me because he don't want me to see him sick or weak. |
After talking to Minoru I felt alot better and am patiently waiting for Ai to come back to life. Damn Yosuke ALMOST got me for a couple days. Though even without Minoru I saw through his speculations pretty quickly, its great that Minoru was able to confirm my hunches.
I only got to sleep one hour before waking up to get ready for Dancegroove~ I planned just enough time to shower and do my makeup. Ash and I headed off for our 8:30am appointment at Loove Shinjuku. Everything seemed to be running smoothly unlike last year.
When I arrived at shinjuku I had a funny feeling as I passed by lines 5 and 6... Ai is not coming... is what I felt... But I had too much to do to dwell on this for long. When we arrived we saw that alot of other sa-jin are also there. I was really impressed by Honoka's set and was very excited to get mine done. It was very busy so I had to wait for 30mins to get worked on. The women who came to do my hair's name was Kuma. She asked me first how big I wanted my hair after I described the shape and showed her my drawing. I said as high as you think it would take to reach god. She laughed and had a huge grin on her face. I watched my hair fly and get piled higher and higher and higher. I was so excited. I haven't seen my hair get that big before in my life!
We had some difficulty with the flowers at first but we managed to fit all 15 roses, 2 bows and mask on my head. My head felt like it weighed like 5lbs. haha
While everything was going smoothly on my side the women who was doing ash's hair was messing up royally. Not only did she get the whole concept of the set wrong she didn't bother putting the things that she wanted in her hair in. It was obvious that ash wanted those butterflies and feathers put in but that women just quickly said otsukaresama desu and then ran off to do someone else's head. Ash started to cry and I got some other girl to fetch that hairmake-san to fix ash's hair. The woman was being very difficult but after fixing it 2x over it became what Ash wanted finally. Yumi-nyan Ash and I went to go to the game center after we were done to get our dancegroove purikura. We all uniquely were as eccentric as eachother and looked straight out of a hair show. We were soo happy with our hair that we also took another set by ourselves each.
After purikura we headed azabujuban and ate at johnathans family restaurant. When we entered the room everyone was in awe with how crazy we went with our hair. I already kind of ate so I ordered a HUGE maccha parfait. haha Yumi-nyan and ash ordered real food lol. Bobby at the other end of the row of sa-jin praised ash for the website but pointed out one spelling mistake. Everyone laughed and repeated it. Ash got really upset and said stuff like FINE maybe I should just take down the whole site. Yumi was weird-ed out and I was not surprised. She never could take a joke when it's at her expense. When Yumi called her out on it and said it was just a joke. She said its not funny. I don't like it when people think I'm stupid or incompetent. I won't tolerate it. Yumi and I assured her that that wasn't the case. Its just a joke. I told her that she always over-reacts with this kind of stuff and that if it were anyone else they would just laugh about it and not think anything of it. It's nothing personal.
In fact, not too long after that Kai came in with his hair all tied off his face in a half pony tail looking like a rat. We all laughed at him and asked what happend? everyone teased him just like how we teased ash. I said to Kai WHAT HAPPENED?! that's it, you have lost the right to the ikemen title. LOL I made a point to tell ash see, they do it to everyone and look, Kai don't care, in fact he thinks he looks horrible himself and is laughing at it too.
After realizing his hairstyle is just that horried, Nikoru called me in to the boys washroom to try to fix Kai's hair. I felt so embarrassed. I said seems I turned into a man? Kai said WHAT KIND OF MAN HAS BOOBS LIKE THAT?! we all laughed. True. We moved back outside because it was just too damn embarrassing. I tried my best to fix Kai's hair but it was difficult because we had no iron. Just spray and a comb. On top of all that, Hicchi also needed his hair done because due to his narcoleptic condition he over slept. I managed to set up kai's hair and Ash finished it off while I did Hicchi's hair. They are lucky I know how to style my dollfies hair otherwise I'd be lost without an iron. At the end I had soo much wax and spray build up on my hand, it didn't feel like a hand anymore. I moved each section and set it by hand and held it in place as it set. It was the most difficult thing ever but after much effort, both sets came out nicely.
The event started and I was on the first shift. One of the guys who I was working on really liked like Jin Murdervoice. It shocked me. He always had a face mask on before so I didn't notice until now. We managed to smoothly make all the drinks as the guests poured in. My guests from my school came in pretty early and they were drinking like crazy and doing their own thing. Half way through I was pulled over by Kai and was made the door girl for vip so that none of the regular guests can go into the vip section. He explained everything to me very clearly and simply for me to understand. Natsuki almost asked me work vip but I refused because I don't like being in situations where I have to talk to people higher than me due to my weakness in formal japanese.
After my shift was done I went downstairs to greet all my guests. Most people arrived by 3-4ish so I was alternating between them all. As for some of the younger guests, I wanted them to join a circle so I also made a point to try my best to connect them with the daihyo of mikado because we have a deal with mikado. If we can find boys for them, they will find girls for love gals. Between connecting people with other people and making sure everyone was having fun and doing alright, and saying our greetings to the elders I was stressed as hell. Tomoki also made it a point to be introduced to ALL my guests. He was particularly interested in talking to steph LOL.
Between my duties and talking to guests, I went outside every once in awhile to get signal to check up on sora and Ai. It was getting late and they still haven't arrived. I couldn't get a hold of Ai. Neither could Sora....... I was starting to get a bit upset but was too busy to really be all that mad.
The event was finally over at around 8ish and Ai never showed up.Tired we all gathered outside of johnathans for a group photo then headed towards Shinjuku for the nijikai. There was soo much waiting in between my energy was starting to weaken. Ash was at her limit and was whining about wanting to go home as her feet were really hurting and was very tiered. But we promised we would go to the nijikai so we went. We only stayed for an couple hours or so just so we could hear the results of the guests. The total was a flop... 208 guests... last year was 800or so That was pathetic. Love gals got #4 just 1 guest away from Jewel. It's really too bad, if Ai came like promised Sora would have came too and we would have been Gyaru-sa ichi. Our total was 40ish guests... that means close to half was my guest because I knew I had close to 15-18guests. Surprisingly with my schedule I got the most guests out of my circle.
Ash was shivering and wasnt feeling well so we went home at around 12. I was gonna go home with ash but I wanted to know what happened to Ai so I dropped by Nodens. He wasn't there so I played it cool and said I just came by to drop off this booklet from the event and for Masan to pass on the message to Ai to contact me about Monday.....
Ai never contacted... Sora called to apologize about not coming to the event. According to Minoru and Sora, Ai told them to meet in Kabukicho and they were supposed to all go to my event together but he never showed up. Yosuke was telling all these weird speculative stories like its likely he lives with Miho and maybe he and Miho are out somewhere or maybe he has another girlfriend blah blah blah then ended it off that I should go out to see kabukicho and maybe he is there and if all else fails I can hang out with him. I was too tired to go out on a maybe. I'm starting to not quite trust Yosuke's stories because most of them are speculative and it seems that every time he wants me to go hang out with him and go to his house. Heh no way in hell. I later find out from Minoru and Sora that the bar is closed for monday morning. I messaged Yuuki and he confirmed it too. No one knows why though. It just abruptly closed. Ai didn't show up to work on sunday morning either. I heard from sora and minoru that Ai had collapsed from exhaustion not too long ago, so maybe he is off sleeping somewhere? This made me very worried. Meanwhile I tell this to yosuke and he confirmed that he too knows about this. I yelled at him and said WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME THIS TO BEGIN WITH. One would think true fact is more relevant than speculative stories about other girls. He told me that he didnt want me to see Ai's weak points. I said uh-huh... I knew about Ai's weak body from the beginning even before Aria was opened. Minoru then called to talk to me more about the situation and answered some of my questions. Minoru told me that Miho, according what he heard from Ai, is just a really good customer of his and nothing more. Also Yuuki really did quit Aria.. but over something to do with payment or something? But why does Yuuki tell me he still works there? Anyways, nevermind about that... WHERE IS AI?! I have been calling every few hours to get a response but haven't be successful yet. This is not like him. He never breaks these kind of promises. Even when hes late he never breaks promises to meet. So there is something sincerely wrong. His phone keeps ringing out again and and again until at some point both phones run out of batteries. Then eventually they get charged but have been out since this morning (tuesday). I think he is likely in the hospital with this kind of phone pattern because this is quite alot like when Tatsuyuki was in the hospital to take care of his mom.
As a side note; I am both worried and upset. Ai manages to fuck up the 25th in a way I both don't get the date and yet can't say goodbye because from what it seems at this point, he is likely in the hospital and I would be a dick to say farewell at this moment. One might think I'm exaggerating and may follow yosuke's with another girl theories but Ai would never miss work for a girl. Work is above all else for him so if he is missing work that means he is physically unable to be anywhere right now.
So its down to this
1. dead asleep at home
2. in the hosipital
3. kidnaped by miho
4. arrested?? Though I doubt this, police arrest ppl for the weirdest things out here
I hope he contacts soon.....
Sunday, June 17, 2012
I finally got the tickets for dancegroove to give to Ai and Sora. So I went to Aria to give it to them and also to finally have a day to relax because I have been working so hard at school and dancegroove etc, I haven't had a day to rest until now.
When I arrived Ai was not there so I sat down and started to drink with the other staff members. Yuuki was busy with a customer at the time so I couldn't talk to him. Instead, Sora and vampire boy, Minoru, were chatting with me the entire time. Yuuki eventually said HI to me at that was the end of it.
Sora and I really bonded. She is my favorite girl staff of them all. She was the most excited to go to my event. When sora was busy Minoru talked to me alot. I found out he had a girlfriend but they are having soem problems. She does fuzoku (prostitution) and no matter how much he expressed that he didn't want her to do that and he would try harder at work so he can pay for part of her school she refused and did it anyway so that he wouldn't have her as a burden. Its kinda a sad story really.... She came later because Ai wanted to talk to her about something ( I think it's to express what minoru was trying to say because it seems hes not so good at expressing is feelings) After that conversation we moved on to talk about other things and exchanged contact. Technically it wasn't allowed because I'm Ai's connection but he did it anyway.
Ai finally arrived but he had to talk to minoru's... well now ex. girlfriend. Then after he went to talk to miho because she was there as a customer this time. (Miho is the girl he threw out of the bar that one time) I asked Minoru what is exactly is Miho's role in Aria. Minoru told me that she is kinda strange. She's a worker when the club is busy but when its slow shes a customer. Ai didn't get to talk to me all day but he invited everyone to go out to okonomiyaki after. When we all got outside, I asked Ai aboutthe 25th. He quickly said don't worry! I will definitely see you on the 25, I promised you and I'll to go your event too.
Miho was stuck on Ai like GLUE. I walked next to Ai with a normal amount of distance and she took that space as a invitation to stick herself in between. She was really starting to get on my nerves. I wanted to take her head and smash it in between the elevator doors..... but that's not lady-like so I just softly smiled and continued on. When we got to the table she again tried to make Ai sit next to her but he last minute jumped to the otherside of the table and made it boys on one side and girls on the other.
The cooking began and Miho and Ai were bickering back and forth. She would pick on him but he would snap back at her. They seemed close. I was envious about how much time they spend together. I would jab here and there just to see his reaction For example.. wow that side of the table is so peaceful. And people said its because Yosuke isnt talking. I said because Ai isnt there and he would just give me a shocked face and then laughed. Othertimes he would just nod, say sorry or smile. If it were Miho he would snap back at her 2x harder. He seems to be treating me alot differently than how he treats others. To me, he's always been a sweet gentle person, competitive but mild-natured only often very late and sucks at keeping contact. For others, he seems to be quite authoritative, sharp tongued and showy.
When it was all over, everyone left and he said he had to do other things but he had a look of sorry in his eyes as he said I'm sorry I couldn't talk to you much today.... I said its alright, you were busy......
When they all left, Yosuke (a customer who I met at his club earlier whose philosophy is "I don't want to be the same as everyone else. If everyone thinks one way I will deliberately go the other way. I told him that's no different than being a sheep. In the end both sheep and people like are controlled by what others do. I believe in doing whatever I want. If it happens to go with the flow I go with the flow, if not, I don't) somehow got me to tell him who my ex was. He was shocked to find out it was Ai. He told me that's not good. Did you know he's a player? I almost bursted out in tears instantly and tried to leave. He didn't let me leave.
He said how could you not have known? I said how about we sit somewhere and I'll explain to you. We sat down at a cafe and I explained to him the story about how Ai and I got together and how he treated me. They were all shocked to find out he likes amusement parks and is as much of a romantic as he is. They told me all they see him as is a very skilled person at sales and as someone who never pays for women. However Ai always paid for me whenever we went on dates. He wasn't using me for my body either since he barely touches me.
According to Yosuke he's been sleeping with Miho and other girls. It really shocked me because he's always been a gentleman to me. He doesn't touch me or if he does, he stops himself or tries not to do it. Why the restraint? I thought he was broken all this time until the confession last month.
I was really tired and upset. We talked things over and over... According to most guys its the case of a bunch of girls to sleep with but one that you cherish and is like the "girlfriend" whom you "keep". Due to Ai's sparatic schedule he probably only has time here and there. Of course being a guy, there are hormonal triggers that are often more stressed when one is working so hard. But, I'm not around much due to my busy schedule as well...
It started to make some sense again What he meant by if we got together again, he don't have the time to properly take care of me and due to neglect I might fight with him to the point of where I might get so fed up with him I'll run away from him forever. Whereas the way things are now, yea there is a possibility that another guy might come along but there's also a chance that I might break up with that person by the time Ai gets into a more stable time of his life. With the way things are now, I technically can't be angry at him with being with other girls because we are not officially dating... Though nevertheless I am upset to find this out. So I have a plan. Since he sucks at phoning and messaging, I'll arrange the time and meeting place for the 25th on Dancegroove and on the 25th, we will have a wonderful nice date then at the end I'll ask him what I mean to him. If he fucks up the 25th I'll just give up like what I said earlier.
My feelings at the moment though... the only person who seems to be any sort of a threat is Miho. She looks alot like the girls he used to date and they are very close. But I refuse to loose to a plain av girl with disheveled hair and sloppy makeup who has no sense of pride or self.