There's alot to say isn't there? The reason why I am back is because I have been reading alot of people's comments recently that have touched me quite deeply. My previous blog "Hatsuyuki" has been completely locked down and made private sometime around the end of last year. The rumor has it, it shut down because there was too much "evidence" proving all the dirty rumors that were spreading like wild fire over a span of half a year. However the real reason is that I just didn't have the energy anymore to keep fighting when the main people accusing me of things I wasn't doing were not going to listen to logic nor reason anyway.
I am not exactly sure how this blog is going to be done. I do have some files on my computer of entries I have written yet not posted so I guess this blog is going to be going both forwards and backwards in time for a little while til all the entries have been filled in since where I had left off.
I do hope this new blog will be able to stay open without too much trouble but if what happened last year were to happen again I doubt I will be coming back. Just for caution, I will be only bloging about my private life and circle life because quite honestly, those are the only parts that are worth hearing right? Nobody really wants to hear about mundane day-to-day things and, lol, I don't have to time to write about them either.
On a lighter note; the choice of the title Brilliant Days is because Brilliant Days by Daizystripper is my favorite song for the last past year or so and I think it describes my feelings quite well. (My previous blog was also named after a song which was called Hatsuyuki by Vidoll)
Sunday, April 29, 2012
I woke up quite a bit later than I had expected because of the cold I'm trying to fight off, I have been needing alot more rest than usual. I rushed to Shinjuku to make to Yohio's outside live in front of the Alta. It was really crowded but I was glad I made it in time. He is soo beautiful XD but his fans are a little crazy though. While standing and watching from the 2nd tier, I met one fan's mother which during the signing session was talking about how much her daughter loves Yohio and that she was told to take pictures for her while she goes up and gets the cd signed. I had wanted to go up and greet him but got confused by the instructions and didn't know where to line up.
After the live was over, I had to go about trying get some girls for the Love Gal's + BLAZE shinkan. With my cold ridden soft voice I guess I must have sounded quite scary because everyone ran away from me as if I was a sex worker scout. T_T It doesn't help that I am particularly scared of going up to girls especially since it's best to use keigo with them as to prove your professionalism and I really get nervous with keigo. I keep searching and searching and the only girls who were nice to me were too old. At the same time because of the timing and the place, I kept getting stopped by scouts =_=;;; Around 8ish Ashley and Natsuki arrived and all three of us were trying but our attempts ended in vain.
Not too long after BLAZE arrived and they too have not been able to find anyone. Tomoki suggested at the end that we switch sides. Girls go up to boys and boys go up to girls. This made things alot easier because with men, they listen alot more kindly as well as the need for keigo is gone. Ash and I almost got some boys to go but their friend didn't want to go so that was the end of that.
This year it has been very difficult to get new members to join a gyaru-circle. Boys are still interested but with girls it's like pulling teeth. I think it could be because of the AKB movement and girls don't want to be associated with "dirty loud gyaru".
With no new people we decided to call it a a day and have a normal nomikai. Tomoki got us a deal at an izakaya and we played drinking games til 12ish. It has been awhile since I drank with Blaze and I'm glad to see Kai is becoming back to his normal self.
For the nijikai we all went to karaoke and played again til morning. Weak from my cold I had passed out a couple times and threw up once but relatively under control. Ash was doing well and was strong til at the very end she got really drunk. Thankfully one of Blaze's newest members, Hashi took good care of her and protected her. When we go out it was morning. I had planned to visit Ai's bar again because its goldenweek so I have some time here and there to see him and see if we can match schedules. I had told Yuuki I was planning to go so through-out the whole night he had been contacting me and checking up on when I was coming.
I rushed over to the bar after I sent Ash home on the cab. When I arrived there Ai was not there but they told me he would be back. I was greeted by Yuuki and asked to sit by him. He and I talked about various things like music and other random things. We have alot in common. Since we both had colds he shared some of his food with me and we casually drank a little but not much because we both drank alot earlier. Ma-san came over from time to time to talk to me. He told me that my patience for Ai amazes him and that its really rare to find a girl who would wait for 3hrs. I told him that if I didn't wait I would never get to see him. Besides, if I freed up that day for that plan, I have nothing else to do and it's too late to make other plans. The rest of the time Yuuki and I watched others sing karaoke and talked calmly. He held me while we watched... it felt so comfortable...
Ai arrived about 15mins before closing. I tried to make plans with him but he said with the grand opening soon he don't have time and he don't know his schedule...Typical... He says with great concern that he worries about me and half scolds me and told me not to drink so much etc. It's really not like I have a choice. He should know more than anyone that the Japanese drinking culture doesn't really let you pass down a drink unless you are super drunk. He also scolded me for not going to the hospital for a cold. I'm sorry but I just can't get my head around the idea of going to an hospital for anything other than a severe injury or sickness. I can heal a cold on my own. He tells me I need to work a little harder at the same time take care of my body. He walked me outside and then told me with kind eyes that he's sorry and thankyou for today. I felt kind of frustrated because I feel kind of trapped. While both obviously caring and liking eachother, we can't be together. While being open about anything new, whenever I get even close to liking someone they don't have time. I guess this is the problem about liking ambitious men?
I arrived home at about 10am and slept til 6. When I awoke, the friend I was supposed to meet's mail was received while I was sleeping. I want to make sure I got to see him because everytime he comes to Japan he is always so busy with work and has to go back home as soon as he's done. I told him that I could meet with him at 8at hachiko while I rushed my makeup and hair and threw on a dress. I ran all the way to hachiko so I wouldn't have him waiting too long as he doesn't have a Japanese cellphone. Shortly after meeting we took some purikura (which look ridiculous because we both drank alot last night and were tired )and then went to Starbucks for coffee. This time unlike the last times, he and his dad booked a couple extra days for themselves so they can go wandering around instead spending the entire time working. He told me various stories from work which were all interesting and a little funny fact on how he is when hes drunk he becomes kind of a kissy monster. Time went by quickly and he had to go. I walked him to the station, hugged him and he was off.
After buying some groceries at Donki, I got asked by a group of young guys where is a good club that a 19year old can get into. We sat around in a circle and talked a bit as I tried to recall which one is good because I only started clubbing when I was legal other than 2 times I able to get in under special circumstances. We ended u talking about Circle life when I told them I was not in the mood for clubbing since I drank so much last night. One of them, Yaoki, 19yrs old from Nagasaki expressed interest so I exchanged contact in hopes he will possibly join blaze. About 10mins later I heard a familiar voice call out my name and to my surprise it was Elyce!!
I haven't seen Elyce in forever~~! We have so much to catch up on... She told me she was going to WOMB and that ladies are free until 12am. I wasn't planning on going to the club but I guess if its free I go for a little bit. I rushed back home, got changed and switched my bag and stuffed a Lchicken down and made it 4mins before 12. HAHA talk about barely making it lol. Elyce introduced me to her new boyfriend who is also fluent in english. She told me though hes not her normal type in looks he's very reliable and and a great boyfriend and takes care of her well. I am quite happy for her. She told me that she thought she'd give it a shot because its hard to find a serious bandman boyfriend etc and her current boyfriend also accepts the way she is so its fine since true normal guys don't normally. If things worked well this way for me too I would also date a normal guy I guess? I've met normal guys before who had accepted me the way I am however... the problem is that they can't seem to understand some of my more complex thoughts and deeper thinking. I have yet to meet a person who has the same values and is able to understand me without them being at least somewhat twisted/dark as sad as that sounds. Am I doomed for rest of my life to be dating crazies? LOL
Elyce and I made plans to see eachother again on thurs. I was feeling tired from the day before so I left the club around 1am. I finally was able to get to my computer and use this really strange method my friend told me to use to fix my wireless. When I was going through the steps I SWORE it wouldn't work because literally its unplugging everything then pushing the button 5-6x then putting it all back and turning it on. It worked 0_0 surprisingly haha
Monday, April 23, 2012
This weekend is the Shinkan with ive. Last minute we tried to get some girls to come but it failed pretty badly. I managed to last minute get 2 vkei looking girls interested but it took so long to get started that they already had to go home. Anyhow 2 girls that natsuki invited came and we played drinking games at a izakaya. It was my first time really drinking with ive. I'm pretty unfamiliar with most of the members.
When the nomikai ended we all headed in front of the game station and took a group photo (in which I cant find.. sorry) We were all encouraged to go to the nijikai but with karaoke it would turn into something very expensive... I had also planned to try to see Kaname afterwards.
While waiting for Kaname's contact Mayumi and Ash decided they wanted to go to Atom to drink. I accompany them to Shibuya and kept waiting for Kaname's contact. We ate a little, dropped off some stuff at our house and then went to atom. It was really crowded. About 20mins after being in the club I got contact from Kaname saying today the meeting went really long and he has early plans the next day so its not possible. Oh well, I'm already keeping myself busy even though I didn't exactly want to go to the club because im soo tired lately. I don't mind drinking clubbing and nagomis are starting to get tiring. When I went to the washroom on the 6th floor I ran into a friend of mine who looks like a girl. He was talking to me the entire time and lining up with me. He's soo girly looking that no one thought anything of a guy in the girls washroom. He also used the washroom too. We returned to the dance floor and one guy who was super drunk was dancing all over him. I asked if he was ok because I know he's not gay. In fact his type is Gyaru LOL. even though he sort of looks like one himself.
There were many good looking guys that night but I wasn't really interested... I just want to be with someone familiar.
At the end of the night we all decided to go out for food possibly. On our way to the ramenya we noticed the drunk from from earlier and he was dancing and being really rowdy. His friends were no better. They had a car and they were dancing on top of the car and flopping all over the place. The first guy bumped into another guy and they almost got in a fight. It was just crazy. I haven't seen someone that drunk in a very long time. In fact I didn't know it was possible for someone to be THAT hyper.
Ashley had lost her wallet somehow on the way to the station and she had to go and find it while I went off. Things finished up alot earlier than expected and I didn't want to wait for first train by myself outside in the rain so I went to Ai's bar.
I remembered the way there from not the way I came last time but the way I left. When I arrived he was not there. Ma-san told me that he had opened up the 3rd bar in the Lee building. His girlfriend led me there. I sat down and was looking around awhile while I waited for them to get Ai who was apparently sleeping I think. While waiting for Ai a Host sat down in a seat on the left side of the room. soon after Ai came. Ai tapped me on the head and moved me right next to the host. He was busy the whole time with other customers so the Host and his bartender talked me the entire time and shared their champagne with me. We all drank alot and sang the night away. The host named Rua but I call him by his real name Yuuki kept me company while Ai was not there.
Ai was really happy to see me and whenever he got the chance he talked to me. He even held on to me while singing Memeshite. Ai told me that hes been worrying about my health and this and that because of the mails he has been receiving from me. He told me that it really is too bad because our times don't seem to ever match. Like today even though Ai wanted to see me longer I had school right after this. But I told him that even though I don't have much time either and we are both relatively equally as busy, I could MAKE time for him if he would just tell me when he is free. He told me to contact him after school so then maybe we could see eachother. However after school he did not pick up his phone... (the next time I saw him he explained that his phone died and is out of service in alot of areas and that he fell asleep each time) I know alot of people who don't know me or him very well will think he's lying but I've known him long enough to know he's not lying as much as just odd.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Sui is in Japan! Sui has been in Japan a few days now but I haven't had time up til now. My curling iron has been acting up funny so I ended up being about 20mins late. Ash had a nail appointment so she couldn't meet up with us right away. I met Sui at the harajuku bridge at around 330pm and we went to Closet Child together. We talked about random things and caught up with some stuff. She expressed how she had wanted to get extensions here in Japan but doesn't know enough Japanese nor where to go. I told her that the place I go to is around this area so I can show her and help her make an appointment which is just what we did after we took a couple sets of purikura. While Sui was getting her hair done, Ash finished her nail appointment and joined us. We didn't have much time left so we went to Lafore so Sui can get some socks. I also bought a Baby the Stars Shine Bright parasol. We kept looking around and around and said next time maybe we should get ash to dress lolita jokingly. She protested. haha
We finished the day at Lotteria? and parted ways. The plan for the next day was to go to the Decadance Hanami together.
Sui had forgotten that there was a ageha model event that she wanted to go to so is unable to make it to the hanami. Since I figured that Ash was still busy with the event that she was working I decided to sleep more because I didn't want to go to the hanami alone. When I woke up again around 4pm I found out that she had ended up going anyway because one of her guests wanted to go. So I quickly got ready and headed to the after party at the decadance bar. I had planned to meet Kaname who I first met at the White Decadance Event after he finishes work so I just chilled at the decadance bar the entire time. But people started going home around last train so I left as well. Sui just finished her plans and we met with her outside. We tried to take purikura but the game center closed 6mins early and we weren't able to get in. We chilled outside for awhile and took photos in front of a cool car. Ash went home on last train and Sui kept me company while I waited Kaname to finish his meeting.
He finally finished around 2am-ish. He took me out to eat while we relaxed and got to know eachother. He had married had a kid and divorced already. His child is in hokkaido with the the mother. He used to be a gyaruo and he likes Kendo. A little while later he took me to karaoke where we sang random songs. I quickly went home a little later and then when to school. Kaname took the taxi home.
I was kind of bored not doing much so Kaname and his friend came and visited and we drank together for a little bit. Afterwards we took the cab to Shinjuku and went to karaoke, kaname, ebi, ash and I. Kaname kept teasing ebi calling him an ossan so Ash kept teasing him back. He kept saying random things in English it was soo cute. When he asked what line in English would make me sound cool. Ash told me to say I have STDS. Then he turned to me and said I have STDs. I gave him a weird look and distanced myself from him a little. He asked ash hey what did you make me say??? Tell me something else. Ok, say... I have aids. DAME DESHOU!! lol I guess he understood that. He said to ash so after 3months would she marry me? but I mistook it for getting married then divorced for 3months so I got confused. After Karaoke ebi and ash headed to the station and Kaname and I got in a taxi. He sent me all the way to school. When I got out I drunkenly gave him a quick peck on the lips and arrived to class waaaay drunk LMAO. But it was fun. The teacher didn't notice but the classmates definitely noticed I was a bit red.
My plans when on wayy longer than expected and Kaname's meeting also went wayyy longer as well. He was really tired but he still made his way to see me. He took me out to sushi as we talked. I found out more about him. Since the divorce he has lost sight of what it feels to love. So if he likes someone or not he can't tell by himself. I told him for me its when you want to see that person, and think about that person all the time and be with them but.. then I don't really have much experience because everything I ever had was abruptly interrupted. When we finished eating he walked me to the station. He gave me a weird look and I asked him what was wrong. He said I don't know it just looked like you didn't want to go home. I said we of course I don't... but he said he was tired and is gonna go home and sleep. So we said bye bye.
After that we kept in contact but he hasn't had time....
Monday, April 2, 2012
It took me a very long time to get to Hon Atsugi... it's about an hour away from my house. When I finally arrived Atsushi picked me up in his car and we ate at a sushi restaurant. Apparently we both like meat and seafood the best. Kinda so-so about veggies and both love to do art. He told me he is going to open his own tattoo shop soon in around Yokohama I think. After sushi he drove me to his house in the countryside. It look like a scene out of a movie because I rarely ever go to the countryside not even in Canada. I met his mom and his dog before he took me to the 2nd building on his property. We looked at art books together and talked about various art styles and artists. Then about some music here and there. Soon after we got started. He first had me practice strokes then making shapes. He made it look SOOOOO easy but it was soo difficult. I couldn't control the pressure or consistency at all. After about 20mins I showed him how to use photoshop a little. He played with that while I tried my best with the airbrush. In the end I was able to draw an eye.
At arond 10pm he took me out to yakiniku. When returned we went to the main house where he had me record some english phrases that he wants to learn because he wants to be able to talk to a western tattoo artist named jeff goak? (sorry if I misspelled that)when he gets his tattoo done tomorrow. He then showed me his purikura which he had stuck to pages of a large sized calendars. It looked like purikura scrolls haha. He also showed me old photos of when he was a gyaruo and a yanki. He's a very bright light person. Cheerful and sweet and sociable. Quite different from my usual dark, deep, and complex friends/love interests. We fell sleep around 2-3ish and woke up at 7 so he can go to his appointment and drive me to the station. I had alot of fun. It was very relaxing and felt like a little get-away. It's how time seems to move soo differently when you are in the countryside. In the city you are counting the minutes and playing tetris with your schedule. Out there you pick a task and you do it all day pretty much.